grey-romantics in the ace community

[ratherdrinktea]

At this point in time I really am confused about my romantic orientation in more ways than one. I think demiromantic may fit but I haven't figured it out quite yet. But my romantic label changes faster than that girl's hair color in scott pilgrim who for the life of me, I can't remember her name X_X I can say that about a lot of things actually but that is beside the point right now.

What I have noticed is that even in the asexual community demiromantics are looked down upon because they are "doing what romantics do". Basically the idea of primary and secondary romantic attraction makes no sense to them.

What annoys me is when I see this and I try to explain to people "no, this is not the same as a regular romantic because they aren't experiencing primary romantic attraction" And then people STILL say "well what they are experiencing is human" or whatever.

And then there are the people that understand grey-as and demisexuality but don't believe that somebody can be "not completely a/romantic".

This is actually the reason why I find the idea of an aromantic subforum on aven to be a terrible idea. As in, if this were proposed when the grey forum was proposed (I was against it at the time) and I had to support one or the other I'd pick the grey forum. When it comes to greys, the subforum at least shows that there is a gradient and it is helpful to those in there. But an aromantic subforum will hurt the people that fit between romantic and aromantic because it just makes the forum seem more black and white. It says that you are romantic or you aren't. And that isn't the way that things work.

So anyway I was wondering what the grey-a spectrum thought of grey romantic identities and that erasure within the ace community.

[mel]

I don't have an opinion on grey-romantic identities, but the girl you're thinking of is Ramona Flowers.

[Aisling]

Here's a notion: I'm thinking of shuffling the GSM-etc. subforum here a bit, with the following as sub-boards:

-one for demisexuals
-one for non-demi grey-aces
-one for the rest of GSM and allies
-one for problems in the communit(ies)

and add
-one for the (a)romantic spectrum
-one for (non)libidinists and those whose romantic drives vary (which would accommodate semisexuals and semiromantics, even though they aren't the target-demographic-as-advertised on the header)

Theoretically, I could also approach this as

-demisexuals & demiromantics
-grey-aces & grey-aromantics
-Romantic Drive & Libido spectra
-GSM & allies
-problems


EDIT: Please consider this post a request for feedback! If you'd rather not clutter this thread, then post it in the feedback/suggestions thread, please.

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