Just a few scribblings from a new-found demisexual :)

You know, being the only girl in my class that didn't think Michael Stevenson was hot; was awkward. But then again, my life seems to be this big awkward mess up until recently.

Like many of you guys out there, things started going awry in high school, where it seemed everyone's hormones were kicking in; except for mine. I got a bit of a reputation as being...well, weird. I wasn't content with sitting in huddled groups, talking about how 'hot' the guys were. No, I ditched that like a bad habit and played dodge-ball with the boys. As far as I was concerned that was far more entertaining. But things got worse the older I got.

You see, eventually I managed to fit in with my own gender. In year ten (I'm an Australian, for those of you who are unfamiliar with our grading system) all my friends got boyfriends, or had crushes; and while I never really understood all that I still knew something was wrong with me. I'd constantly have a friend say;" Hey Leash, isn't [insert random male name here] so hot?! Sqeeee!" To which I'd say something along the lines of; "Ah... yeah, totally.. >.>

While even to this day I'm better at socializing with men, at that age I wanted to be accepted by my own gender. When the 'gay' rumors started being spread about me, I told my best friend Stacey, that I liked Mark Stokes. He seemed like a safe bet. He was quiet, was considered attractive, and would never acknowledge my existence in any way. It was perfect, it was fool proof. And I never even considered the fact that someone might have their eye on me.

ENTER JUSTIN! I'm not going to go into this in too much detail. The two years I was with him were some very awkward and upsetting years, and finally I know why. He had been my friend for a while, so I guess that's why it was so easy for me to fall for him. I ended it after he made it very clear that he was sick of waiting around for me to be comfortable with the whole sex thing. He wouldn't take no for an answer, so he got a slap to the face; and I got a long walk home in the dark.

But enough of that. I'm twenty now, I've moved out from the clutches (doesn't that sound just so deliciously evil?) of my parents. Now that I no longer live with my homosexual hating, angry and abusive, alcoholic parents, I'm able to really look at myself for who I am; not who my parents force me to be. I've found love and support with my new partner:Jarrod. Looking at it now, being Demisexual means I can be both best friends, and boyfriends with him. AND I LOVE IT!

I'm lucky in the fact that Jarrod isn't the kind of guy to push intimacy on me, partly because he's the kind of person that would rather a good cuddle to sex most of the time. I know this isn't the case for some of our kind out there, and my heart goes out to you.

Well, that's my story in a nut shell. I'm looking forward to getting involved in the demisexual community

Peace!

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