Clearly I have made some bad decisions.

Oh.

I don't actually remember writing that. At all. I thought I remembered everything from that night. At least I seem to only have posted something like this here, and not anywhere where it would lead to real-world repercussions.

Hmm. Good. No more drinking for me.

...she says, knowing that she's going to a friend's birthday party this weekend and will end up drinking.

I need to actually do something about getting into counseling. Now that I know my university actually offers it, and I'm pretty sure it's free.

I keep trying to write something about how I'm feeling, but it's just not working. I don't even really know how I feel, I just want a hug. Or better, a good long cuddle, but I'm not likely to get that. Instead, I get to lay in my room alone while my roommate has company, because I can't handle being around people I don't know right now, but I'd feel awful if I chased her friends out when she warned me well in advance that she was going to have people over tonight. Bleh.