Asexuality Paper

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Asexuality Paper

Post by rainingsand on Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:55 pm

I'm writing a paper for class on asexuality and sex positivity, but I'm having difficulty finding much in the way of sources. Could anyone give me an idea of where to look? I've found a few posts, but I'm hoping you lot can help me more than a simple Google search. If you could post links/blog names/your own opinions, I'd appreciate it immensely. If you post your own opinion, I'd also appreciate you letting me know if you mind being cited or if you'd prefer to be left anonymous, or even avoid a direct mention at all. You may also message my account if you'd prefer to not comment publicly. I'm after any help I can get, folks.

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Re: Asexuality Paper

Post by Halfling on Tue Oct 21, 2014 4:12 am

I'll let others put links as they certaintly know better about that, but what kind of "own opinion" are you looking for ? It's a bit vague to give an opinion on "asexuality and/or sex positivity". Are you looking for asexual people (or do you consider that, for instance, demisexuality is on the spectrum and so you're looking for demi people too) ? What's about "sex positivity" ? What do you mean by that ?
I guess you've already (or are going to) write things on your own and are looking for testimonies or sources to back up your paper, can you me more specific on what you wrote/are going to write, what angle do you choose (not the same thing if it's in biology class or in "sociology class" you know) etc ? Smile

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Re: Asexuality Paper

Post by rainingsand on Tue Oct 21, 2014 1:09 pm

I'm writing this for my Written Communication class, and chose the topic myself. I'm arguing that sex-positivity (the movement to make safe/risk-aware, consensual sex not shameful or strange) can become uncomfortable/dangerous for aces (anywhere on the ace spectrum) when it starts to become sex-normativity. I'm looking for opinions from anyone on any spectrum, though I'd prefer to be aware of where people are coming from. As for the opinions themselves... Well, I'm certainly not going to turn away any that disagree with me; that's hardly the point of research! My only requirement there is that the opinions are the result of critical thought on the matter and not a few seconds' inclination.
I hope I've answered your questions, and please let me know if you have any more! I should also note that I intend to continue working on this paper in my free time even after it's no longer needed for class, so there's no time constraint on responses.

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Re: Asexuality Paper

Post by Halfling on Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:33 pm

Yes, thank you.
I'm not sure I'm really aware of that being a "movement", I never saw the sex-positivity like something like that, it appeared to be to be more a blurry tendancy to break taboos and all, going with feminism (I mean the progressive empowerment of women through time, with sexual empowerment too).
When I was around 13-14 years old, I remembered having talked about masturbation with the two guys and the girl at my table (yeah we were in groups for that particular class), they were like "yeah it's normal to masturbate, I do it every morning". The girl was grinning nervously, not at ease, and me, well, I wasn't AT ALL sexually-conscious at that time so I kept quiet. They mentionned that girls masturbate, but I remember having thought "what ? No. What ?". It was reaaaaally not openly said...
So well, maybe that's because I was young more than because it was more taboo at that time (I'm 27 now) but I think it has changed...

I'm pro sex-positivity, since too many people grow ashamed to masturbate, to have sexual thought, to have sex, to be gay or anything. And sex being taboo, young people don't grow aware of themselves, sexually, so... they don't know their sexuality, they don't know what is good for them, how their body works and all. I think sex-positivity helps to avoid lots of sexual abuse situations or "shameful" situations, as people get more aware of the notion of consent, sexual orientation and all. It children are raised knowing that sex is ok but within certain conditions (safe sex, contraception, consent) I believe they'll grow less subject to... interiorize they sexual energy then blow up doing abuse and all...
Maybe I'm just optimistic.
But does sex-positivity means sex-normativity ? I don't seem to see that but once again, I may not be aware enough of what is said/written under the "sex-posititivity" standard. It's like about being gay (or else). The message is not to be "it's "normal" to be gay". (cuz' "normal" is a judgment) but "it's ok to be gay". "It's ok" meaning "you can be whatever you are, if you're not hurting anyone/anything in the process, it's fine". So instead of saying "having sex is the sane way of living a life" or "it's normal to have sex", it seeems important to remain clear of judgments and rather say "having sex is ok, it's not shameful. And having not isn't shameful neither".
I guess the problem is when people tend to put something as a norm, whatever norm it is... Sex drive is not "normal", it's like many other things : a spectrum or "a lign" going from an extreme 0 to an extreme 1 and counting a infinity of variables in between.... That's how I see it.

I'm demi, (and a trans guy). I experiment sexual attraction, have a quite standard libido I guess, but I don't relate at all with most of the sex talks people do, since I never had "casual sex" (is that the way it's called when people have one night stands or sex friends or whatever ?). So I'm totally for the visibility of safe sex (like seeing a bit more condoms and all in books/movies/comics/tvshow etc where sex is involved), and sex communication, and positivity, to get rid of culpabilisation, "pervert" bashing and all those things which get people down :/
But I'm also totally for the visibility of nuances, like asexuality, and not transposing the initial "shame speech" from sex to "no-sex". No-sex is ok too, so-sex is also real and some people don't like/want sex, and that's ok too, doesn't mean they're broken/frigid and all.

I'm... not sure what I said goes for your paper, well, that's what I think about the subject though. And I'm really sorry for my certainly bad approximative full of "francicism" english, I'm not at ease to expose my thoughts in english like that. ^^"

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Re: Asexuality Paper

Post by rainingsand on Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:55 pm

It's perfectly fine that it doesn't quite match my paper- what you've said actually matches a lot of what I've seen around, as well as my own opinion. Sex positivity as it is standardly defined I have no issue with- my concern is moderating it before it becomes overbearing. Either way, I appreciate your willingness to share and help:)

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Re: Asexuality Paper

Post by Halfling on Tue Oct 21, 2014 5:33 pm

You're welcome, I find it interesting to share and think about subjects like that. Please let us know how your paper turns out ^^

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