I don't know if I am demisexual or not - help please!!

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I don't know if I am demisexual or not - help please!!

Post by dansieemp on Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:43 pm

I don't know if I identify as demisexual or not. I've never had sex, so I don't know how I would enjoy it or not with another person, but I definitely have a libido. I like the idea of having sex someday with someone I really care about and love, but I don't know how much of that is my spiritual/personal views of sex being a sacred connection between two people and not something to take lightly, or if the idea of casual sex just naturally turns me off. I've never been in a romantic relationship with anyone (I'm 19) because I don't always feel a strong romantic connection to people. I really want to be in a relationship, but I'd rather wait to be with someone I really care about and am attracted to, and I definitely think that that connection is much more important than sexual attraction. Although I can definitely appreciate and be attracted to physical traits of others, I don't really notice the physical aspect of people at first glance unless someone points it out to me. The problem I have with completely coming out and stating that I'm demisexual is that I like the idea of sex and sometimes feel physically attracted to people and/or celebrities, but I don't know how to distinguish between physical and sexual attraction. Any opinions or thoughts on this? Any advice/help would be appreciated!

**EDIT**
I've been researching sexuality more, and was wondering, is it possible to be allosexual and demisexual at the same time?

dansieemp
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Re: I don't know if I am demisexual or not - help please!!

Post by Halfling on Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:36 am

Hi,
Being demi doesn't mean you don't have a libido, it just means you don't feel sexually attracted by people with who you don't have a "bond" first.
You can find people beautiful or "at your taste" i guess, like "boy/girl-friend material" (I don't like that way of saying it but I don't know how to express it) without feeling like having sex with them.

That's my way of seeing it. :)I dunno if it helps you to have a better understanding of it ?

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Re: I don't know if I am demisexual or not - help please!!

Post by dansieemp on Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:28 pm

Yes that does help! I have a hard time seeing what the difference between being physically attracted and sexually attracted to someone, but that might just be because I don't really feel the sexual attraction so it's hard for me to understand the difference. I've always had the personal opinion that I want to wait until marriage for sex, so that naturally puts me off from the idea of casual sex, but after thinking about it more, I don't think I've ever had an urge to be sexual with anyone I know, even people I find attractive. Your answer does help a lot though! I'm starting to feel like I do identify more as demisexual/heteroromantic.

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Re: I don't know if I am demisexual or not - help please!!

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