Another "Am I" Thread

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Another "Am I" Thread

Post by hashbash on Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:09 am

19/Male

Heads up, it is probably going to get a little weird, and be pretty long winded and rambling.

I would say for most of my childhood I felt attraction like most people do. However, I noticed around the fifth grade that I would just say I had a crush on whoever others were saying they had a crush on.

Fast forward to about 16, and I notice that I don't find most typically attractive people sexually alluring. I don't find them ugly; just not anything to get excited over. I begin to obsess over this and begin to entertain the idea of homosexuality. That didn't seem to hold much allure to me.

For the most part, I can't look at a picture and find a woman attractive. Regardless of the woman. Occasionally, this appears to be incorrect, but further examination normally results in a feeling of neutrality. No attraction for, but still not thinking they are ugly.

I also make note of how I have found that I feel stronger attraction to more animated characters than real people. This being to worry me, but after a time I found that my attraction would begin to wane once I distanced myself from this material. I also begin noticing this with more and more real people would become attractive under certain instances.

Eventually I would trace this back to whenever I would become emotionally enamored with a certain material, and subsequently when I would lose interest with this same material. Basically, if I got really into a movie, show, etc. I would begin to find myself more attracted to a character I enjoyed, or empathized with. The stronger the emotional reaction the more attracted I would become. Then as my interest in this program would lessen, so would my attraction. Though they never seem to fully fade they do die down quite heavily.

I would also like to point out that I never became attracted to a male character. So, I guess I'm straight.


The wrench comes in the form of my libido. I found myself sexually inactive, but with a sexual appetite I would consider above average. I've watched an extensive amount of pornography, but I have never found the people within attractive unless it was depicting my attraction.

I'm kind of at a loss here. I don't know how demisexuals rank on the scale of sexual activity, but it seems like they aren't the most active.



Am I just the worst kind of fanboy, or a demisexual?

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Re: Another "Am I" Thread

Post by rainingsand on Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:16 am

I can't speak as to your actions/attitudes, but if it helps at all I'd like to point out that being sexually active has nothing to do with orientation. There's a number of people who are ace/gray/demi who just enjoy the act without needing the physical attraction to really be there. I'm not entirely sure, mind, as that's not a category I fit into, but that's my understanding.

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Re: Another "Am I" Thread

Post by Halfling on Mon Mar 10, 2014 10:41 am

Hi hashback Smile
I'm demi and quite active sexually, if I can say so. I mean, I have a libido which I think is average for a guy.
And I think I'm mostly aroused by comics/animated "porn" than "real people" ones. (maybe because I don't like people faking or acting bad or showing sex like they usually do... soooo stereotypical -_- (and I'm speaking of amateur ones since I never saw a porn movie)).

Have you ever got into a great friendship or someone with who you had a great bond, and eventually felt attraction in this situation ?
Maybe if you're demi you'll experience that one day. Maybe you're something else, I can't say, only you can.

Are you frustrated about not having sex with anyone ? Is it something you would like to do and think you could enjoy ? And are you frustrated not having found any person you would be attracted to ?

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Re: Another "Am I" Thread

Post by hashbash on Mon Mar 10, 2014 11:02 am

Halfling wrote:Hi hashback Smile
I'm demi and quite active sexually, if I can say so. I mean, I have a libido which I think is average for a guy.
And I think I'm mostly aroused by comics/animated "porn" than "real people" ones. (maybe because I don't like people faking or acting bad or showing sex like they usually do... soooo stereotypical -_- (and I'm speaking of amateur ones since I never saw a porn movie)).

Have you ever got into a great friendship or someone with who you had a great bond, and eventually felt attraction in this situation ?
Maybe if you're demi you'll experience that one day. Maybe you're something else, I can't say, only you can.

Are you frustrated about not having sex with anyone ? Is it something you would like to do and think you could enjoy ? And are you frustrated not having found any person you would be attracted to ?
Thanks for the answer (thanks to the other person too). In an answer to your questions, no; I've never had a friendship develop into an attraction. However, I have become a recluse of sorts in recent years. A little bit before I started suspecting my demisexuality.

I'm not frustrated by not having sex with anyone. Mostly because I can't find somebody who is attractive. I am truthfully not all that into sex, but I just have a frustratingly high libido.

I am frustrated that I haven't felt true attraction for anybody. It makes me think I'm weird and also makes me feel a little bit lonely, and let me tell you, it takes a lot to make me feel lonely.

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Re: Another "Am I" Thread

Post by Halfling on Mon Mar 10, 2014 4:24 pm

You wish you could love (and be loved by) somebody ? Or be able to be attracted "easily" to people ?

If I can share my experience in this matter, before I knew the word "demisexual" and what it embraced, I thought I was just extremely picky, and not in a "proudly" way, but like "too picky".. like "I can't be satisfied from anything". But even if now I don't think like that anymore, I still see the perspective of a (new) relationship as... a mountain to climb. Because it means for me to learn to know people, for as long as a year or two before even thinking of the possibility of becoming attracted by the person. It's quite a long term work, and a exhausting one, since I'm not that social (and well, quite picky to find people I'm really interested in :/)...
Maybe it's not like that for you, and honestly I hope it's not, but if you don't meet people, it may be hard to get the opportunity of finding someone you could be attracted to, don't you think ?

I don't know but I'm guessing (maybe wrongly) that if you're frustrated that you haven't felt (romantic, am I right ?) attraction for anybody, and if you're feeling like that not only to "be like most people" but because you miss the connection of being in a relationship with someone, that means you're not aromantic.. I may be totally wrong here, that's just my thoughts being written here. Dunno if you know that yourself or if you're wondering about it ? Still, without trying to know people, you won't be able to be attracted to anyone, that's for sure ^^"

I met most of my real and close friends on the internet, and for me it worked good to meet and learn to know people. Hope that helps Smile

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