Hello everyone!

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Hello everyone!

Post by clovercris on Mon Jan 06, 2014 4:59 pm

Hi, I'm Cristina and I discovered this blog through the aven wiki??
Anyways I registered yesterday but I had a really important exam today (and I did well) so I coudn't waste much time.
I'm excited to learn more about demisexuality (I am a demisexual btw) and asexuality as I discovered the term about 2 years ago.
I'm not sure if this is where we write about our love life or anything but I'll sum it up because I'm sleep deprived (oh, the pleasures of med school).

When I was 13 years old I fell madly in love with my best friend's ex-boyfriend (his name was Cris, 3 years older than me, and he was my best friend as well) so at age 15 (him, 18) we get together and for 6 months its all happy, until things start to get sour. I was a little girl and in a desperate attempt to keep him close to me for a while longer I suggested to him to start doing sexual stuff (mutual masturbation, groping). I completely hated it (let me clear up, up til then I had never wanted to have sex, or fantasized about it, had never masturbated or even knew where my vagina was) . He would always ask if I was really enjoying it (I had to fake it) and if I really wanted this (like, not at all).
Long story short, he left me anyways, and I was left feeling like I had been raped (I know I wasn't, I never said no and he didn't even suggest the entire thing, but after all of this I couldn't stand other men touching me, even in a non-sexual way, as I felt anxious). It took me about 3 years to overcome the emotional trauma and I haven't spoken to him for about 5 years.

I always thought I wasn't able to enjoy our sexual activities, because at the time it started I was fully aware he didn't love me anymore, and I think it hurt me a lot because of that same fact. (and I really didn't want to do sexual stuff with him).

Fast forward a couple of years, my best friend (this time, Cris' ex-girlfriend, I know, I sure know how to pick them, btw I asked for her permission to date her ex-bf) I'm 17 and she's 19 and we join a roleplay game for hetalia and one thing leads to another and (at least I) we end up getting involved in a romantic relationship.
She is very different from me. Where I wanted a monogamous, loving relationship, she wanted an open one, and wanted me to enjoy that freedom as well. No matter how hard I explained to her I didn't really want to kiss anyone that I didn't love she couldn't understand, and thought I was weird (i'm pretty sure she thinks I'm just a prude).
We ended up breaking up after she told me she cheated on me with two guys on the same night. To be honest she was the only person I've ever really wanted to have sex with (I'm really glad we didn't though).

And that's that. I guess you can see I'm almost a textbook demisexual? XD
Honestly I love this word exists, it gave me some comfort after my best friend's rejection of how I felt towards kissing/having sex with people I didn't love.
I'm almost 21 now, and single. If I'm honest, I do enjoy masturbation now but I haven't had penetrative sex so far. I'm not really against it, as a matter of fact I've had fantasies about it with the guy I currently like (he's also a close friend XD).  

And that's that.

tl;dr: I'm cristina, I'm a demisexual biromantic (if that even makes sense), its nice to meet you!

clovercris
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Posts : 6
Join date : 2014-01-05
Age : 24
Location : South America

http://caringosity.tumblr.com

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Re: Hello everyone!

Post by Halfling on Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:27 pm

Why wouldn't it make sense ? Smile Welcome here and thanks for sharing your story.

Halfling
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Location : France

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Re: Hello everyone!

Post by Lims on Sun Jan 12, 2014 3:33 pm

It makes perfect sense! :3 welcome to the website~ Very interesting story, I'm glad things seem to have looked up for you~
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Lims
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Location : England

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Re: Hello everyone!

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