An introduction.

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An introduction.

Post by Nia Onyx on Mon Aug 26, 2013 3:00 am

'ello!

I had decided to join this site as AVEN seemed decidedly less helpful then I had hoped... mainly because of when I was asking about terms and definitions I kept being told "They didn't matter" or "Be yourself"... Which I have to say is a bit of a let down when I first found the definitions of Gray-asexual and Demi-sexual on their site. I had to try and clarify it myself and I became very frustrated and haven't logged on since. With what I have been able to glean from this site so far, I feel much better about terms and what they mean. I honestly feel you really can't use a word properly if you don't know what it means. Also, the definitions are wonderful for me because my first reaction to finding these definitions was "I'm not alone! There are others like me!"

So a bit about myself:

When I was in grade school I was always viewed as "odd" and it was hard for me to make friends. Those I did make friends with were hard to communicate with because I didn't understand what it meant when someone was viewed as "hot" or "sexy" and later, due to being an artist, I was able to quantify that as "Beauty" and tentatively agree. I have had only two boyfriends, both I knew at least for a year before we started dating. I had this desire to be friends first. That desire had shut down a few guys in grade school and it was not until my last year of High School that I dated. With my fiancé, we will be together 8 years this Oct. and 9 years before our wedding next year.

All of the friends that I have made and kept close I have also "adopted" and consider them family. My Mom had always done that too, referring to this unofficial extended family as "The Village". I am a very protective and possessive person, but I will also never impend those I care for. I will be there as long as they need me to be and not a moment longer. I end up saying "Well, let me know." a lot! This also applies to any romantic/sexual relation ship.

Beyond the "oddness" of relationships, I have always loved to make things: crafts, fiber-work (knitting, crochet, spinning, weaving, cross-stitch, sewing, etc.), cooking, art, construction, writing, etc. I also love nature: plants, animals, gardening, hiking, camping, etc. I also love things like: languages, cultures, mythology, philosophy, theology, etc. However, most of those are a bit off topic for this site! Very Happy
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Nia Onyx
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Re: An introduction.

Post by Aisling on Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:44 am

Welcome to the DG! Regarding your last paragraph, feel free to talk about anything which holds your interest; the site has dedicated general and off-topic discussion areas just for that purpose. Smile
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Re: An introduction.

Post by Halfling on Sat Aug 31, 2013 4:48 am

Hi there !
Seeing the new arrivals here, I observe they are mostly women. Are there more women who are demi than men ? Or just maybe women feel more the need to talk about it ?
I hope I'm wrong but that's the impression it makes !

Anyway, welcome here Smile

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Re: An introduction.

Post by Aisling on Sat Aug 31, 2013 4:50 am

We think it's more that women feel more of a need / a right to talk about it. Our partner is male and demi, but he is also extremely socially reserved and withdrawn, and doesn't use forum sites much at all.
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Re: An introduction.

Post by Halfling on Sat Aug 31, 2013 5:10 am

Hum ok. That's a shame, reading and/or sharing things like that seem to be a good way of knowing oneself better and open one's mind... :/

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Re: An introduction.

Post by Nia Onyx on Sat Sep 07, 2013 8:29 am

Very few guys I know like to talk about anything outside their "comfort zone". Did you know it was not until I joined this site that my fiancé broached the topic of gray-/demi-sexuals with me and asked what it actually meant. He was worried it was about sexual drive or something, which is a different thing. He originally rejected it as an unnecessary label. It wasn't until then that he understood that this "label" has nothing to do with our current relationship, only to do with my past experiences with relationships and, if we should not work out, any future ones.
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Re: An introduction.

Post by Halfling on Sat Sep 07, 2013 3:42 pm

I'm not good with sharing/expressing/talking about my feelings, but I know that's important, and most of all in a relationship. I like to know what my boyfriend think and feel, I guess that's a key to work out any relationship, isn't it ? I can't understand how couples where communication stay "superficial" (or, well, limited to the "confort zone") can have a true and lasting (or maybe the correct word is "long-standing" ?) relationship. @_@

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