A Possible New Demisexual - Want Help, Opinion, And General Advice

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A Possible New Demisexual - Want Help, Opinion, And General Advice

Post by WolfRunner on Sat Aug 24, 2013 12:12 am

Hello, I have just recently discovered that I am both gay, and possibly demisexual. All of this happened within a span of around half a year. On top of dealing with the new emotions of being gay in a not always acceptable world, this demisexuality is really scaring me.

For one, I am not even sure if I am demisexual, which I know is not something you can really tell me. I have never felt sexual attraction towards either gender before, and didn’t realize it before my wonderfully awesome girlfriend. (sorry couldn’t resist)
I never knew if this was because I didn’t to go normal middle and high school, (I was online) or if it was because everyone felt that way. That’s why I also can’t relate really to seeing your friends get interested in sex. But when family would make jokes about anyone I liked, “Meet any boys? Interested in anyone?” I was completely honest when I said, No.

I have never really had sexual attraction to actors and actresses either, like I know why people are attractive, but that’s it really. I never understood sex obsession, why people would do it so young or so much with so many different people, or why it was so hard to not do. And always thought you should wait till that one person. In fact, sex anything in general makes me cringe or jump. I don’t get jokes all the time, I never thought I would have it or want it. I thought I would just adopt children, not find someone, and die a virgin. Haha. And the topic overall makes me very jumpy and aaahhhh why.

Now I do have someone, someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, adopt children with, and this topic in it’s various shapes and forms is generally not uncomfortable with my partner. Wink

Technically we moved pretty fast, what was even weirder is neither of us knew we were interested in the same gender or each other. But that’s college for you. And being in college has made me realize that this different outlook I had on sex (and me thinking I just wasn’t like the normal sex driven teen) is actually very, very different from other peoples views. And of course as many of you probably know.. I don’t know if I am experiencing sexual attraction as no one can really describe it. But I feel I do with my partner… only.

And even though the demisexuality scares me… I hate being not “normal” (I know that’s a horrible thing to say and I want to feel it is normal for me) and there are still things I am struggling through… and I don’t relate to exactly everything (who does though) I still feel like this term may describe me… My girlfriend is very supportive, and that helps. But I am still trying to accept this of myself and see if I do fit. I’m terrified of describing it to others, if I will have to at all, and I’m worried one day I won’t feel that with my partner…

My question is, I’ve only really found three really good articles on the topic. Everywhere else is forums, blogs, tumblrs, or copy and paste of the wikepedia.
What I am looking for is support, more articles, not all tumblrs, and just things I can look at, possibly relate to, and eventually accept about myself, and wondered if you had any advice or leads, or opinions.

And to add to all of this, I have only ever been both sexually and emotionally (I don’t believe I actually had any “crushes” not like other people had them) with my one current partner (I like to say mate ☺ ) So this makes everything else highly confusing to me, as I don’t really have anything else to compare it to.

Thanks,
Confused.

WolfRunner
Active Member

Posts : 14
Join date : 2013-08-23

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Re: A Possible New Demisexual - Want Help, Opinion, And General Advice

Post by rainingsand on Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:03 pm

I don't know if it'll be much help, but http://thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com/ is a blog which tends to post articles, reviews, lists, etc. which I personally enjoy going through and generally find useful.

rainingsand
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Posts : 20
Join date : 2013-05-20
Age : 21
Location : Missouri

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