Nobody hits as hard as life [Contains sexual content.]

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Nobody hits as hard as life [Contains sexual content.]

Post by DemisexualHulk on Thu Jul 11, 2013 2:21 pm

Okay, so yesterday after 385 days or exactly 55 weeks, and this is pretty sexual, I finally masturbated to porn and orgasmed (even having peeked and looked at it, edging--masturbating until near orgasm, for some times, before yesterday).. Didn't even make a big deal out of it, as I realized the masturbation feels good due to the sensation, not porn. So I can fap (masturbate) without it. I don't know about you guys, but (porn) don't turn me on at all, and on top of that, I clearly was not as addicted yesterday as I used to be, before. In fact, I hadn't looked at any today or fapped (NoFap record is 83 days), and because fapping itself is addicting, I plan to not even give a damn about that, porn or even my streak, anymore, because I'm gonna last my lifetime without them, anyways. That's how I am gonna keep my mind off them; that's how winning is done! Now, I'd rather be addicted to energy drinks than porn, because I just realized how degrading that shit really is. I mean, think about it: who would want their sex life to be public, and who would want to watch a couple of attention whores fucking each other? (Pun intended lol!  P.S, is this guy holding the sign, Goku? haha!) That's just what porn is: public, attention-seeking sex, and voyeurism is just as degrading and corrupt.

But enough of that ranting. About working out, I used to train to be a powerlifter, to be big and strong, until a few months ago, when I decided to bodybuild, to focus on my physique, and I got to say, the higher volume training, the fat loss, even most recently, the mind-muscle connection, I feel a lot better and I don't give a fuck about being big and strong, anymore. Now I'd rather maintain a healthy, lean and ripped, quality muscle look, and I'm still cutting. As for my social life, I'm having one ASAP. I am lucky to have some people who care about me, especially when something is bothering me. Maybe I'll even find a girl to bond with and get with her, one day. Now that I think about it, this life of mine is all I really need.
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DemisexualHulk
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Re: Nobody hits as hard as life [Contains sexual content.]

Post by DemisexualHulk on Fri Jul 12, 2013 4:49 pm

Speaking of my social life, I've come to the conclusion that I have completely grown apart from almost all my old relationships, especially from the Adult Transition Program (which I first came to, four years ago. It's a four-year extension school that goes after high school, for disabled adults 18-22), students and teachers alike. When you grow apart from someone, it's almost like you don't know them, anymore. And I realize now you cannot help that. Friendships drifting apart, that's inevitable. Sad, yes. But then again, this is life, and I'm willing to do whatever I must to keep moving forward, no matter how painful it is.

I even grew apart from a couple of sites that I signed up over a year ago to help overcome porn addiction, because I just didn't see the point of staying any longer. Plus I had a problem with one particular member on one of the sites (a forum) 6 days ago, due to the fact he didn't believe I was demisexual when I just realized it when it hit me a couple of days before then. Sadly, he thought I was just making assumptions, and tried to tell me not to think it or it becomes reality, when really, it was reality before I realized it. And I called him a pigheaded idiot, for that, and it got out of hand, so he retaliated, I retaliated back, told him I didn't care if he was dead today, and I said good-bye to everyone without looking back. Now I just don't care to come back to any of them, and I'm glad I left permanently.

Oh, and I just realized today that the "ladies first" thing is just a load of bollocks, for that disrespects guys like me.. Last time I checked, we live in an era where women and men have equal rights. And on the city bus to Doheny Beach, a male (Adult Transition) staff member tried to have me say hello to a new student sitting next to me when I simply wasn't interested, and he ignorantly thought I was regressing (when in reality, I'm maturing into being myself), and I told him I don't want to, and I don't care, and I will find the right friends (and he knew it). Then in line when I was getting another hot dog, a female (Adult Transition) staff member tried to have me say please when I asked for another hot dog from that same said male staff member, and after I reluctantly said please, I told her, "enough of this, I don't care if you don't like that I was asking for something without saying please, I'm sorry, but that's just not who I am, I don't have to be a certain way". Shortly, they let me be. Oh, and I even told a couple people I knew, that I was never their friend right from day 1, and I don't want to. I'm going to tell an old best friend from Adult Transition soon that we've grown apart, which was why I've been avoiding her lately, since the beginning of summer school, which started July 1, and it ends July 26.
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Location : Aliso Viejo, CA

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