How to find Grays/Demi's in a national UK survey of Sexual Attitudes

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How to find Grays/Demi's in a national UK survey of Sexual Attitudes

Post by Bauer1331 on Sun Apr 07, 2013 12:04 pm

Hi,

I'm Bauer. I'm either Ace or Gray, and I am writing my master's thesis on Asexuality, but I would really like to include Grays and Demi's.

I am also hoping to show how sexuality is a spectrum in terms of who people are sexually attracted to, but also how much people are attracted to others sexually.



I have data from 30,000-ish people in the UK describing their sexual experiences and attitudes, so I don't need anymore data - just advice Smile.



I'm trying to pick how to describe gray/demi sexuality from the few variables that indicate people's attitudes towards their own sex lives. It's a bit complicated and none of my options will really be inclusive, but of the choices I have, there are more people who fit into these constrained gray/demi categories than there are asexual people - and I'm using the exact same data that was used to say that 1% of the population is asexual.











The Complicated Mess of Variables to Pick From:



The variable that "defines" asexual people is: who are you sexually attracted to 1) only opposite sex, 2) mostly opposite sex, 3) equally to both, 4) mostly same sex, 5) only same sex, and 6) never been sexually attracted to anyone. Ok, 6) never been sexually attracted to anyone may include some of the asexual people on here, but that's rather absolute and doesn't even give grays or demi's a chance to be counted.



I have a few others that might work to at least get grays and demi's on the map (but I know none of these will include all of them!):



1) Preferred sexual lifestyle - 1) one regular partner 2) multiple regular partners 3) casual partners 4) no sexual activity

Of the people who say they are attracted to someone (aka not asexual) around 3% say they would prefer no sexual activity.



2) Enjoyment of sex - 1) enjoy it 2) don't enjoy it 3) don't have sex these days

Of the people who say they are sexually attracted to someone, about 10% pick "do not have sex these days" over enjoy it or do not enjoy it



3) Sexual Satisfaction - 1) want more sex 2) about right 3) want less sex

Of the people who say they are sexually attracted to someone, a little under 50% are "sexually satisfied,"

while around 2.5% would like to have less sex.

I can combine this question with the ones above:

Of the people who say they are sexually attracted to someone, about 3.5% of the "sexually satisfied" people would prefer "no sexual activity," which is about 1.77% of the population.

In addition, of the people who say they are sexually attracted to someone, about 8% are both sexually satisfied and report that they "do not have sex these days," which is about 4% of the population.





I really do understand that gray/demi people are not just people who have been sexually attracted to some at least once in a life, but don't want to have sex. There just aren't any questions on the survey I'm using. But in addition, what questions do you think would indicate that someone is gray or demi? My two ideas are: 1) how often are you sexually attracted to people? (never, 1 or 2 times in lifetime, 1 or 2 times a year, 1 or 2 times a month....) and 2) under what circumstances can you be sexually attracted to people? (none, once a strong emotional bond is formed, to my friends, pure physical appearance....)







Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

Thanks,

Bauer

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Re: How to find Grays/Demi's in a national UK survey of Sexual Attitudes

Post by Halfling on Sun Apr 07, 2013 3:54 pm

Hi Bauer.
The surveys data you gave here are quite interesting, but there is something that seems to be forgotten : About people claming they would like less or no sex, they don't enjoy sex and all, there can be asexual, right, but what about all the people having been abused/raped ? I guess they could be part of the % you speak about, and I believe asexuality and "sex trauma" isn't the same at all (I mean by that : sexually traumatized people can't be counted systematically as asexuals..)
Beside, I guess some answers can have a big diversity of causes. Like "wanting to have less or more sex" doesn't really give an indication about if the person replying is asexual or demi or what. It depends of one's sex drive, of one's partner, of one's way of living his/her body (for example, a trans person could have an asexual "sexual behaviour" when it's only temporary due to "body dysphoria".. And after some time, transition and all, this same person could be quite active sexually :/) etc. In a word : a lot of parameters..

About your questions, I don't think your first question "how often are you sexually attracted to people?" is really accurate. I mean, saying you are demisexual but have had serious intimate bond with a lot of people (maybe you're quite socially active and at ease, and find a lot of people you can be close friend with lol), you could answer "1-2time/month". So it wouldn't give a relevant analysis I think.
The second one seems a lot more accurate. Someone replying that he has to get a strong emotional bond with someone to be sexually attracted would be more clearly demi, ain't I right ?

But I didn't understand : those questions are already in the survey ? Or do you plan to add them on an other survey you would like to begin ? Or do you plan to send an email to all the 30000 people ? lol. I guess not x)


Maybe I'm wrong, but well, that's my point of view on all of that. Hope it can be useful. (and hope my english isn't too hard to understand ><°)

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Re: How to find Grays/Demi's in a national UK survey of Sexual Attitudes

Post by Bauer1331 on Sun Apr 07, 2013 9:22 pm

Halfling wrote:
But I didn't understand : those questions are already in the survey ? Or do you plan to add them on an other survey you would like to begin ? Or do you plan to send an email to all the 30000 people ? lol. I guess not x)

Hi Halfling,

Sorry that was unclear. You're assumption is right, I cannot contact those 30,000 people and ask them. And actually I'm not a part of the original study that produces the survey, but in my paper I want to suggest questions. The only variables I have to work with at the moment are in this (rather long) technical report.

My choices are either to not include gray/demi/any sort of spectrum, or to use the variables that they already have. So that was why I chose those three. Those 3 are the closest that I could find. There aren't any on libido, sex drives, romantic orientations, or anything on trans* people, and the only one on sexual abuse/rape is whether someone was raped the first time they had sex (very small number).

But I do have one question, when you say:
Halfling wrote:
About your questions, I don't think your first question "how often are you sexually attracted to people?" is really accurate. I mean, saying you are demisexual but have had serious intimate bond with a lot of people (maybe you're quite socially active and at ease, and find a lot of people you can be close friend with lol), you could answer "1-2time/month". So it wouldn't give a relevant analysis I think.

It sounds like any serious intimate bond = sexual attraction, for demisexual people.

My intention was to differentiate between intimate friendships and sexual attraction. I know a bunch of sexual people who have very intimate bonds with other people who they are NOT sexually attracted to. I'm the same way, and I assume some graysexual/demisexual people would be the same, but I have not had the chance to ask. So, someone with lots of close friends may have intimate bonds, but those bonds do not have to include sexual attraction.

I was going for the first question to get a sense of frequency, possibly more geared towards graysexual people, and to show that how sexual people are is a spectrum, i.e., there are not little shiny boxes we all fit into - even sexual vs. asexual. Then the second to be a more specifically towards demisexual people.

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Re: How to find Grays/Demi's in a national UK survey of Sexual Attitudes

Post by Halfling on Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:06 am

Thank you for enlightning your part in all the work, I didn't understand well^^ And thanx for the actual report, I'll read that.
That's a shame they didn't include trans people and the rape matter... I guess lots of people could have been raped after their first sexual experience... -_- that seems stupid to limit their question about rape to the "first time" :/. Well..
The survey was publicated 13 years ago. Maybe with you pointing the survey's fails, people will want to make a new one, more complete ! ^^

Oh I didn't mean serious bond induce sexual attraction, but that sexual attractions, for demipeople, need a serious emotionnal bond first.
I don't know much about grays (is "gray" the same as "grey" ?) and I didn't make the link with your first question, sorry.

Yeah I'm with you about the "shiny boxes", human being is way more complicated to decypher than people tends to believe to.




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Re: How to find Grays/Demi's in a national UK survey of Sexual Attitudes

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