Sexuality: Complicated.

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Sexuality: Complicated.

Post by rockerchick1378 on Sat Sep 08, 2012 11:16 pm

(If this thread is in the wrong place, please let me know so I can post it somewhere more appropriate!)

So, as I may have mentioned in my introductory thread, I'm fairly new to the whole demisexuality thing. When and if people ask me about my sexual orientation, I say I'm complicated; sometimes, I say I'm straight, just to keep it simple. But regardless of other people, I'd like to figure out what to identify myself as... I'm a little confused as to what terms would apply to me. Here's an explanation of my predicament; I would love it if anyone on the forum could help me out with my little sexuality conundrum:


When I first read about demisexuality, I could identify with it- I have never been genuinely sexually attracted to someone in my life with the exception of my current boyfriend (of over four years). whenever I would say I thought someone was attractive, I meant that I thought they were attractive like a room is attractive, or like a painting is attractive, or like flowers are attractive. Like I said, I have never been genuinely sexually attracted to any person, with the exception of my boyfriend. However, there is more to the matter, that really confuses me about... myself. :s

I enjoy sex itself, as an activity. Though I thrive on thoughts of romantic first-times between two people who are in Love, I merely shrug at the thought of a steamy, passionate one-night stand. However, (imagining I had never met my current boyfriend) when it comes to sex, if I ever had to have sex and be intimate with someone, I feel that I would be equally comfortable doing so with a woman or a man. Taking this into consideration, I would be a biromantic demisexual. However, it isn't so; Though I whole-heartedly believe it is possible for other women to fall in love with women, I just can't imagine myself falling in love with or having a romantic emotional connection to another woman. The idea of it just doesn't... register with me. I simply can't fathom it in myself. I can only feel a romantic emotional connection to men.

By this logic, would I just be a heteroamorous demisexual? Or something wierd... like a hetero-romantic, demi-bi-sexual? I know you don't have to put a label on yourself, but I enjoy having a solid name to identify certain aspects of myself.

Thank you for any replies! Smile
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rockerchick1378
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Re: Sexuality: Complicated.

Post by Aisling on Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:37 pm

To summarize your statements, you:
a) feel romantically attracted only to men and not to women
b) are only able to feel sexual attraction or to consider having sex with somebody with whom you have an emotional connection
c) are comfortable with the idea of your sexual partner(s) being male OR female

If we are interpreting your statements correctly, then yes, "heteroromantic demibisexual" would be the most precise terminology currently available for your experiences and modes of attraction. Smile
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Re: Sexuality: Complicated.

Post by rockerchick1378 on Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:49 pm

Thanks Smile I just worry that if I were to put it that way, combining words like that (demibisexual) somehow wouldn't count... >.<

It's such a strange combination... There's hetero, demi, and bi all thrown in there somewhere. It's like being a part of three different sexual orientations- it almost feels like cheating, but in a fun way. ^=^
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Re: Sexuality: Complicated.

Post by Aisling on Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:51 pm

Hey, if it's what works for you, then it's valid, and that's all there is to it. Smile
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