Being Demisexual

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Being Demisexual

Post by hiddenfeatherscanfly on Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:19 pm

Well as of late I've noticed that people seem to dismiss Demisexuality as just a fad to try and be "Unique" or allow people to feel more special then others. This notion aggravates me and I wonder if many other demisexuals feel the same way? That our orientation is not taken seriously. With that as a factor it makes 'coming out' and even explaining way harder then it could be.
If you have a tumblr just take a moment to look at the tag demisexual and scroll through the posts. I've found posts calling us pathetic, slut shamers, attention seekers... I just feel as if no one is taking us seriously.
I've tried to explain being Demisexual to my friends and they just ignore it and say that I'm just thinking like every straight female.
I myself feel glad to have finally found a name for it. So how do you guys feel being Demisexual? Do you get aggravated when people just dismiss your feelings?
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hiddenfeatherscanfly
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Re: Being Demisexual

Post by unpolished_pearl on Fri Aug 24, 2012 4:22 pm

Honestly, I thought much the same way your friends did up until recently (I realize that's kind of awful, but I'm so used to seeing all the special snowflake BS, particularly on Tumblr, the Land of the Label-Obsessed). But when I was shown that I was wrong, I changed my tune and apologized to the Universe for being a jerk.


I read an article recently that made me want to puke; "Is Demisexuality Anti-Queer?" The author is apparently under the (misguided) notion that just because asexuals, demisexuals, etc. aren't interested in casual sex, that we're promoting "normative" relationships and we're "slut-shaming" if we so much as insinuate that we wouldn't want to do the same things they do. I mean, great, now there's even more pressure to have sex that I don't really want and pretend to enjoy it, thanks y'all. I don't really care what everyone else is doing, it's just not right for me and I shouldn't be made to feel like crap for not wanting it, it's kind of the flip-side of what they accuse us of.


But I really don't know what more I can say on the matter, I haven't actually tried to come out to anyone yet (I made a couple of posts on my blog about it, but I haven't spent any time with my friends and I avoid talking to my family about anything sexuality-related, full stop, especially my mom). I'm so tempted, though, because a couple of years ago I got into a serious argument with my stepdad where he basically sat there calling me a friendless loser, I was wasting my life, blah-blah-blah. After a while, somehow he felt the need to ask me how many boyfriends I'd had, and when I said "none", he told me that it was "unthinkable" that I could have made it to 21 without dating. I mean, now I understand why I've never really wanted to, but I have a feeling it'll be a little... precarious trying to discuss it with him and my mom. I'm sure my friends will at least try to understand, whenever we get together again and I get to tell them.


I guess what I'm saying is, I know where you're coming from. Sorry to be so long-winded about it. silent

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