Hey, all. Another newbie here.

Wee. I'm terrible at introductions, so I'll just launch into talking about myself and my situation.

I've been in a few different long-term relationships, and in two of them, I experienced situations where the girl in question offered sex. In each case, the furthest I could go was kissing and a little fondling with clothes on. Other people have told me they think I simply suffered from performance anxiety, but... I don't feel that's it. In the moment, I wondered why things had to turn overtly sexual, why we couldn't just continue what we were doing.

I think I'm demisexual, but... I mean, I thought I was pretty darned close to each of those girls, having been in each of those relationships for months before the situation arose, so that seems like it doesn't bode well for the emotional intimacy I need to actually be okay with sex. I guess I'm also a bit confused because... I definitely can and do find girls attractive, but not in a way that I feel like I want to have sex with them.

Last, but not least, while I've never had intercourse IRL, I have used online roleplaying to attempt it. I'm male, and male-assigned-at-birth, and interestingly enough, the only thing that clicks for me with the online roleplaying is playing a character that is physically male except for their genitals, which are female. After a lot of soul-searching, I've come to feel that I'm a strange kind of transgendered person, as well, with genital dysphoria, but no other forms of dysphoria whatsoever. There's a lingering question for me of whether sorting out that dysphoria would suddenly turn me into a sexual person, but that seems unrealistic, and suggests that being some degree of asexual means I'm broken, or not as good as a sexual person.

Welcome to the DG!

Possessing or lacking a given drive or desire for sex and romance does not determine the caliber of your character, nor does it make you broken.

We hope that your time here will help you to sort things out more, if that is what you want.